As much as I love my job and traveling, I have always dreamt and hoped that one day I would live the expat lifestyle. Who would have thought that it could really happen.
Expats fall generally into two categories: those that are expats through work-related moves (that’s me!), and those that have relocated to start businesses, looking for a job, etc.
There are other cases such as retired people(making up the largest percentage of it I guess), looking for work with a better compensation, or maybe wanting a new challenge on their own. These reasons seem to be the most popular.
Expats fall generally into two categories: those that are expats through work-related moves (that’s me!), and those that have relocated to start businesses, looking for a job, etc.
There are other cases such as retired people(making up the largest percentage of it I guess), looking for work with a better compensation, or maybe wanting a new challenge on their own. These reasons seem to be the most popular.
I can still remember that very moment when our
director called me to his office to ask
me about how I see myself working/being based overseas. I had a chance to travel before for work going to India. It was a fun experience but only for a short time frame. Didn't get to see much of the real India and mostly stayed in the hotel. After India I was actually expecting to go to South Korea,to my
surprise there was a sudden change of plans and our director wanted to send me to a different country (Ghana, West Africa). When I first heard of Ghana, I was like: really? Where's Ghana? What's there to do in Ghana? Is it safe? Ano ba yan? What would my parents think? Also, the Ebola virus was going viral in West Africa (Ghana is near Sierra Leone). At the end of the day, I didn't hesitate as I wanted a new experience
and growth so I still went for it!
I wasn’t expecting
anything before going, I only had one goal at the time which was to get the work experience,
be more independent and of course grow individually, intellectually, and spiritually. I had no expectations towards meeting a guy overseas, nor did I think I could be serious with. I mean, I knew I was ready but scared to hop
into another serious realtionship after the previous one where my heart was shattered, my entire future had just been rewritten and I had no idea how this book was going to
end (but thank God it happened or else I won’t be where I am now, thanks to my ex for cheating on me). So that’s the worst part of being cheated on and
it’s not an experience I’m eager to repeat especially in a foreign land.
Gosh, there are several ways to lose the one you love, to get your heart
broken; however, none is worse than getting cheated on. Cheating is something
I don't understand. But like what people always say: after
break up do your best, figure out a way to keep going, and of course the
hardest part is letting go of the one you love. So I Did! It took me 6 months to move on and forgive
him and almost 3 years to forget everything :) How time flies!
Moving away from home to a foreign land has an enormous amount of new
experiences that could influence your feelings during this time. Mixing in a
relationship with all these feelings and emotions and it becomes hard to
distinguish how you feel about the person versus how you feel towards life in
general at this time. Would you be in love with this guy if you were back in
your home town? Would you want him to meet your parents? These are things worth
thinking about if you’re interested in more than a fling. This is where Richard
comes in! It took him a while to be able to get in touch with me, well he said
he stalked me, bumped into me at the grocery (but I ignored him) and he knew
I existed in this country (Ghana) before he even got the courage to message me,
chat with me and invite me to a dinner. So, one day after the stars finally aligned and we got in contact, He had the most creative way to get me to go out on a date with him. How you ask. Shabu-Shabu (hot pot) dinner! Ohh I love Hot pot so I said yes. At first I wasn’t really interested in him because I thought he was a china-man! He looked like a Chinaman! Dude wore shorts, T-shirt, and slippers on the first date! I’m not being mean or rude here but I just don’t like
being with china man (pure mainlander like those who don't know how to speak English), the way they think, cleanliness, and how they react to things ughhhh its just not in line with our Filipino-Chinese way of thinking (or maybe it’s just me). But then I’ve been
looking for a good restaurant for shabu-shabu anyway and I thought with him
taking me to the place then I would know a place to go to next time.
After
that night I decided that he ain’t that bad, but putting together two people who come from different countries
with different backgrounds certainly makes for one interesting journey and
process, but what’s really immense is that we share the same culture! (Both grew up in a Chinese family,
its just mine is more traditional). Besides that we had few things in common!
We both love to eat, travel and lastly,
the most important of all is that we both have the same core values in life,
which is one of the most important criteria on my list (of course I have few on
the list of criteria of men whom I want to date! Who doesn’t?) For me it's important to have the same basic values in life,
because value differences are most likely to be
at the center of many relationship problems, it's much better to know them in advance
before committing. Example of which is if you're a free spender,
marry somebody who understands that. If you're frugal, you need to marry
somebody who understands that, because money is one of the stumbling blocks in
marriages. Fortunately we had the same values for most things. Because of this, we really don’t argue much. And we don’t
struggle over things. We come to our decisions by just realizing that we have
the same goals. Compromise and trust is what I can add next to it. Our behavior,
values particularly our social group, nationality, religion and political
affiliation may differ but its not really that big of a deal compared to that of
the first few I mentioned.
So we continued
hanging out here and there, explored the country together and felt really
comfortable with each other. Then he finally proposed and asked If I would marry him and without hesitation yes!! LOL It was just so strange, I felt like I
knew him before, we just clicked! Like we were reconnecting from the past.
Suddenly all those sayings that I'd questioned (“when you know it’s the right
guy, you will know) made so much sense! It seems like a dream or should I say fate or destiny? You move
to a mysterious new land, meet a dude/girl and fall passionately in love and
with all the places in the world in Africa? West Africa I should say
specifically in Ghana where you can barely see Asians! Then soon enough, you wake
up picturing that you guys are getting married! As much as I want to experience sharing some of the
darker sides of falling in love overseas that no one talks about, Just cant, I
think I’m not really that kind of person. I can now really speak out about international
love base on our relationship. I met a fantastic guy, A Filipino-Chinese girl
met an American-Chinese dude in Africa and is now getting married! I guess
that’s pretty cool huh! LOL
I guess I’m just lucky
enough or should I say we are both lucky we found each other. We are now in a
foreign land where we met and are exploring new cultural practices,
beliefs and values. Its like going overseas and finding a fairy tale. Thank you Ghana! This country holds so many special memories!
